There are many countries with homophobia or at least have intolerance towards homosexuality. However a story in Sunday’s New York Times implicates that Pakistan is more tolerant towards homosexuality in the Muslim world.

Or it could also be that discrimination against homosexuals in Pakistan manifests itself differently. Acts of homosexuality remain illegal in Pakistan. Such anti-homosexual legislation stems from the British colonial rule.

We’ve all heard horror stories about being queer in the Muslim world. But a piece in Sunday’s New York Times suggests that, in Pakistan at least, the closet door is open a crack:

“One journalist, in his early 40s, has been living as a gay man in Pakistan for almost two decades. “It’s very easy being gay here, to be honest,” he said, though he and several others interviewed did not want their names used for fear of the social and legal repercussions. “You can live without being hassled about it,” he said, “as long as you are not wearing a pink tutu and running down the street carrying a rainbow flag.”

The reason is that while the notion of homosexuality may be taboo, homosocial, and even homosexual, behavior is common enough. Pakistani society is sharply segregated on gender lines, with taboos about extramarital sex that make it almost harder to conduct a secret heterosexual romance than a homosexual one. Displays of affection between men in public, like hugging and holding hands, are common. “A guy can be with a guy anytime, anywhere, and no one will raise an eyebrow,” the journalist said.

For many in his and previous generations, he said, same-sex attraction was not necessarily an issue because it did not involve questions of identity. Many Pakistani men who have sex with men do not think of themselves as gay. Some do it regularly, when they need a break from their wives, they say, and some for money.

But all the examples of homosexual relations — in Sufi poetry, Urdu literature or discreet sexual conduct — occur within the private sphere, said Hina Jilani, a human rights lawyer and activist for women’s and minority rights. Homoeroticism can be expressed but not named.

“The biggest hurdle,” Ms. Jilani said, “is finding the proper context in which to bring this issue out into the open.”

No civil-rights legislation exists to protect gays and lesbians from discrimination.

But the reality is far more complex, more akin to “don’t ask, don’t tell” than a state-sponsored witch hunt. For a long time, the state’s willful blindness has provided space enough for gays and lesbians. They socialize, organize, date and even live together as couples, though discreetly…

For many in his and previous generations, he said, same-sex attraction was not necessarily an issue because it did not involve questions of identity. Many Pakistani men who have sex with men do not think of themselves as gay. Some do it regularly, when they need a break from their wives, they say, and some for money.

But secrecy for gays in Pakistan is still the norm, even in big cities like Lahore and Karachi. In fact, when the U.S. embassy in Islamabad tried to hold a gay Pride event in 2011, it didn’t just provoke protests, but condemnation from local gay-rights activists. “The damage that the U.S. pride event [did] is colossal, just in terms of creating an atmosphere of fear that was not there before,” said one unnamed activist. “The public eye is not what we need right now.”

Living in the shadows might work for gay and lesbian Pakistani, but for the hijira—a culture of transgender women in Pakistan and across South Asia whose origins date back to antiquity—such anonymity isn’t really an option.

And considering Pakistan is one of the few countries that still retains the death penalty as punishment for same-sex relations, invisibility might not be helping those that think they can slip by undetected, either.”