Harvard Expert Warns About Workplace Manipulation, Citing “Empathy” to Handle Them

By Moon Harper | Dec 15, 2023 04:19 AM EST

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We often encounter various people with various backgrounds and behaviors throughout our lives. Specific interactions might be complicated, and experts agree that the most challenging people to deal with are "highly insecure."

Where Does Insecurity Root From? 

Feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence are the root causes of insecurity. Problems can occur when people let insecurity about their looks, relationships, performances, or appearance control their thoughts and actions, and issues can happen. Insecure people may not be productive and tend to avoid risks. In severe situations, they may even be cruel or abusive.

What Are The Red Flags To Watch Out For?

Insecurity can lead to negative self-talk and self-criticism. At work, it may result in harmful actions like belittling others to appear superior or blaming someone else for a failure. According to Gulati, here are the top three signs of a highly insecure person in the workplace:

  • Comparing and competing with others 
  • Craving constant approval and praise from their colleagues or boss
  • Engaging in self-victimization

These actions seek external validation, a way for highly insecure individuals to ease their doubts about their abilities, avoid taking responsibility, and tend to blame others for their problems, making collaboration nearly impossible.

How To Professionally Handle Them At Work?

Handling a highly insecure person at work requires a combination of empathy, clear communication, and boundary-setting. Here are some insights on how to deal with such individuals: 

Show Empathy

Understand that their insecurity may be rooted in personal struggles, and approach them with empathy. Acknowledge their feelings without necessarily validating unhealthy behaviors.

READ ALSO: Ultimate Guide to Supporting Mental Health in the Workplace

Provide Constructive Feedback

Offer feedback constructively and positively, focusing on specific behaviors rather than personal traits. Highlight their strengths and achievements to boost their confidence.

Set Clear Boundaries

Communicate expectations and boundaries to avoid manipulative or toxic behaviors. Reinforce the importance of teamwork and collaboration.

Encourage Professional Development

Support their efforts to enhance their skills and knowledge through training or mentorship.

Help them build confidence in their abilities through professional growth

Promote a Positive Work Environment

Foster a workplace culture that values collaboration, inclusivity, and mutual support. Discourage gossip and hostile behavior that may contribute to their insecurities.

Seek Mediation if Necessary

If the situation escalates, consider involving a mediator or HR professional to facilitate a constructive conversation. Ensure that the focus is on finding solutions and improving the work dynamic.

Promote Self-Awareness

Encourage self-reflection and self-awareness to help them understand the impact of their actions on themselves and others. You may suggest resources like self-help books or workshops that promote personal growth.

Involve Leadership if Needed

If the behavior persists and negatively affects the team or work environment, involve higher-ups to address the issue appropriately. Provide documentation of specific incidents to support your concerns.

Remember, handling highly insecure individuals requires a delicate balance between support and setting boundaries. It's essential to foster a positive work environment while addressing disruptive behaviors arising from their insecurities.

RELATED ARTICLE: Dealing with Workplace Bullying: 5 Ways to Stop It

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