Boston Bomber Injured - 21-year-old Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the suspect of the Boston Marathon bombing, has allegedly been beaten and severely injured in prison - possibly blinded and paralyzed.
Tsarnaev, who is likely to face the death penalty for his involvement in the Boston Marathon bombing, was on Saturday the victim of an "unfortunate accident" at the hands of an online satirist publication.
According to Empire News, wardens at the Ft. Devens Detention Center in Massachusetts found Tsarnaev in his cell lying face down in a pool of his blood. The Onion-like publication also reported that a banana peel was found close to the suspect's injured body.
Investigators and correctional officials were also quoted to corroborate the story that the Boston bomber has been severely injured.
"It initially appeared as though Tsarnaev slipped on a discarded banana peel and hit the floor with such force that his head bounced off the guard surface, probably 16 or 17 times. There was blood everywhere-all over the walls, the floor, even the toilet. " Prison investigator Joe Goldsmith said in a statement.
It's quite obvious that the claims of Tsarnaev's accident and the repeated bashing of his head is ridiculous and false. However, the satirists had a twist - blaming a notorious racist prison gang for attacking the suspect.
"We determined though, through expert analysis, that it would be impossible for these injuries to have occurred through a fall. Our investigation has shown that it was the Aryan Brotherhood who initiated an attack on Tsarnaev," Goldsmith said.
Apparently prison gangs are patriotic and all wanted piece of Tsarnaev. However the Aryan Brotherhood had more money to bribe wardens because they love America so much.
"Yes, it was the brotherhood who took care of that bomber," said Miles Smith head of the Aryan Nation inside Devens. "The other gangs, they wanted him, too. We paid the guards the most money to have a shot. They stood aside, and let us do what we do. On the way out, they shook our hands, told us, "Thank you.' Well, You're welcome. You're welcome. Boston. You're welcome, America!"
The news of the Boston bomber injured has since gone viral - many quickly saw through the hoax. Others said it would have been the best news if it were true.
