Coping Strategies When Breaking Up with a Job That You Love

Broken Hearted
Pixabay/Foundry Co

Arthur Bouie, a Director of Sales Engineering at Glia, shared one of the most brutal breakups of his life in a LinkedIn post. It was sudden, messy, and quite sad. However, the real surprise was that it was his job. Bouie loved his work and co-workers and cared about both so much that he went through a familiar breakup recovery cycle with his very own soundtrack.

We're all familiar with the typical breakup stages: sadness, anger, negotiation, and acceptance. But in a job breakup, there's an extra step after acceptance: flirting with new job opportunities.

Entering Depression

In the initial stages of realizing the end of a job, emotions can run high, having a blend of sadness and a rush of logical thinking. Managing emotions and responsibilities becomes crucial to maintaining connections within the old job, as the tech community is smaller than expected.

Anger

Feeling of relief that you don't need that job anyway. It's a great post-breakup moment when you feel you can finally move forward. However, it's important not to let anger affect those around you or spill onto social media. Remember, your work community, friends, and family are there to support you, not to be your targets.

Bargaining

Still grappling with it. Maybe the company will reconsider hiring me? It's that moment when you reminisce about the good times and wonder if an old colleague might hint that the company can't function without you. But don't hold onto that hope. If you've transitioned your work processes and documentation properly, the company should be able to train someone else. Will they be as good as you? Time will tell, but you shouldn't intentionally create roadblocks for your old job.

Acceptance

Finally feeling over it. This time, it's for real. Remember, the people in your life are more important than your job. You'll start to see that there are plenty of opportunities and amazing people out there to appreciate. This is where you get excited about new adventures and express gratitude to those who supported you through tough times. Knowing you have that support is crucial for moving forward, even if it's just for a short while.

Flirting

Hey, exciting news! You're not just hireable, but people want you. This is your moment to believe in yourself and your abilities. In a world where people can feel replaceable, it's important to remember your worth and skills. Take this opportunity to think about your next steps carefully, and you'll be amazed at how many opportunities can open up once you do.

As Bouie wraps up, he shares insights on how layoffs are typically handled in the startup realm. He reflects on his own experience and the reactions he received, noting the prevalent attitude of acceptance toward layoffs in the industry. While he acknowledges the support from his loved ones, he also highlights the common understanding that significant changes in a company's status often lead to layoffs, such as being acquired, going public, securing new funding, or forming partnerships. Bouie recognizes the evolving nature of employment in the modern world, expressing a preference for the dynamic opportunities it brings over the traditional model of long-term company loyalty.

Bouie is calling for more consideration for both employees and managers during layoffs. He was shocked by the casual responses he received, like "Not your first rodeo, right?" or "That's a risk we take in startups." While startups may offer less job stability, Bouie believes employees deserve better treatment when leaving, emphasizing standard procedures like exit interviews, process transitions, and clear information on insurance and stock options, which have always been a part of the working world for some time.

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