Parenting Tip: Four Methods for Raising Confident, Empowered Girls, Researchers Find

By Moon Harper

Mar 18, 2024 05:28 AM EDT

Young girls often experience more pressure than boys to attain perfection, leading to fears of failure that can diminish their confidence. According to a survey commissioned by the LEGO Group, over three-fifths of girls feel societal pressure to be perfect, often attributing this pressure to specific language used by parents and authority figures. Additionally, more than half of the children surveyed believe that adults pay more attention to creative ideas from boys than from girls.

Encouraging creativity in your children can greatly enhance their confidence by allowing them to take risks and explore new ideas. It also fosters resilience, which psychologists often link to future success. According to parenting researcher and Harvard-trained journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, children fearing failure could hamper their ability to think creatively and explore new possibilities, which can have long-term effects on their confidence and creativity into adulthood.

Here are four of her tips to ensure parents nurture highly confident girls.

Praising the Progress, Rather Than Perfection

Many children feel the pressure to be perfect due to society, culture, or their thoughts, but adults can help alleviate this stress by changing their way of talking. This is particularly important in creative projects, where success can be interpreted differently. According to Wallace, instead of focusing solely on the outcome, try praising the process rather than just the results.

According to child psychologist Francyne Zeltser, acknowledging a child's effort can help them stay motivated despite their imperfections.

Adopting a Growth Mindset

Encouraging children to perceive mistakes and setbacks as learning opportunities rather than shame fosters their confidence and motivation to continue exploring new things. According to psychologist Michele Borba, children who possess the courage and confidence to take calculated risks are more inclined to overcome challenges that lead to more tremendous success in the future.

Wallace suggests being transparent with your children by sharing instances of past mistakes and how you have grown from them.

Being Mindful with Choosing The Right Words

Wallace emphasizes the importance of being mindful of gender stereotypes in the language used to describe your child's ideas, particularly in the context of creative projects and young girls. Wallace warns parents to be vigilant as Language biases can perpetuate stereotypes by linking specific qualities, behaviors, or career paths with a particular gender.

Describing something your daughter painted as pretty or cute may seem harmless. However, according to the LEGO Group survey, such terms are more commonly used to describe the creations of young girls. In contrast, words like cool, bold, or even genius are almost twice as likely to be used to describe the work of boys and men, which can influence young girls' choices regarding their interests, potentially steering them towards or away from certain activities and can also impact gender diversity within creative and STEM-related industries, as noted by the U.S. National Science Foundation.

Introducing Inspiring Role Models

Wallace suggests that parents can promote open discussions with their children to address and challenge prevailing gender stereotypes. In these conversations, it can be beneficial to highlight inspiring role models who can ignite their creativity and enhance their confidence, which includes notable women excelling in traditionally male-dominated fields, such as Academy Award-nominee Greta Gerwig and female tech CEOs.

Wallace highlights that role models can include friends or family members or anyone whose achievements serve as a motivating example of our potential for greatness.

Demonstrate the behaviors you want your children to emulate, which could involve engaging in activities while having conversations that foster their creative confidence. According to Wallace, children learn best by observing what adults do.