What emotions emerge when a colleague receives a promotion or recognition during a team meeting? According to Amanda Montell, author of "The Age of Magical Overthinking," anxiety or jealousy may indicate a zero-sum bias.
What Is Zero-Sum Bias or Zero-Sum Thinking?
According to Montell, zero-sum bias, or zero-sum thinking, is the misconception that someone else's success is your loss. This can strain relationships and foster negative self-perception.
To mitigate feelings of envy, Montell recommends befriending someone whose success inspires you. Building a connection rather than harboring resentment can significantly reduce distress.
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Sliding into Someone's DM with Sincerity
Previously, Montell admits to compulsively Googling peers whom she found impressive. Nowadays, when encountering a woman who intimidates her, Montell strives to push past those thoughts. Instead of regard her as an enemy, she opts to slide into her DM and expresses sincere admiration.
According to Montell, most individuals are open to such gestures, and she almost always receives a response that expresses gratitude. Initiating contact can steer you away from zero-sum thinking while serving as a networking opportunity, says Keita Williams, founder of career coaching company Success Bully, mentioned to CNBC Make It.
Williams schedules time on Fridays to send out random texts or emails of encouragement, which has proven highly beneficial throughout their career. This practice of staying top-of-mind often leads to valuable opportunities.
As Williams highlights, sometimes, a note sent at the right moment can lead to unexpected opportunities. For instance, someone may offer a chance to facilitate a workshop after receiving such a note, illustrating how someone you once envied can transform into a valuable resource.
Show Up Without an Ask
Sending a message without a clear agenda might initially feel awkward. However, Williams suggests that if the message is sincere, people generally respond positively, noting that a genuine compliment can help break the ice, as most individuals appreciate being acknowledged or praised.
Williams recommends sending these notes to start a lasting connection, as a single compliment probably will not secure a job. He stresses the significance of taking risks and being ready for rejection. It may require multiple tries before meaningful conversations occur, but staying top-of-mind leads to opportunities. Sometimes, you will be in the right spot at the right moment, like when Williams was unexpectedly asked to lead a workshop.
Sending praise helps you stay in others' thoughts without demanding their time. Williams confirms that reaching out without a specific request has been advantageous.
Coping with Professional Jealousy
Feeling envious of your friends' successes is a common experience, but can be challenging to cope with. It is essential to acknowledge and accept your jealousy as a natural emotion to focus on cultivating gratitude for the things you have in your own life. Instead of viewing your friends' successes as threats, celebrate them genuinely and use their achievements as motivation to set your own goals and take action. Avoid comparing yourself to others, and remember to practice self-compassion and seek support if jealousy becomes overwhelming. By navigating your jealousy with awareness and compassion, you can cultivate a more positive mindset and find peace within yourself.
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