Throughout her career as a CIA analyst turned CEO and business advisor, Rupal Patel mastered effective communication in an intricate and high-pressure environment.
In her experience spanning the last two decades, she has briefed many individuals, from presidents and policymakers to aid workers and ambassadors. Recognizing that each person brings their agendas and viewpoints to the table, she has concluded that leading with honesty and authenticity, coupled with practice, enables anyone to genuinely earn the trust of even the most influential stakeholders and get them on your side.
Employing these four key phrases has enhanced Patel's abilities as a speaker and problem solver. It has transformed conflicts into cooperation and led to more successful collaborations and outcomes during high-stakes situations, as shared with CNBC Make It.
1. "What Information Do You Need?"
Patel has learned that attempting to read the other person's mind often complicates communication, regardless of who she speaks to. Instead, she has found it more efficient and beneficial to inquire about the information the other person needs rather than trying to guess, especially when the individual is making decisions based on the information you are sharing.
Patel recalls asking the same question during a foreign policy briefing with Senator John McCain. His response redirected their conversation to the information he needed rather than where she had assumed would be helpful to him. While you will not always get answers, asking what information the other person needs sets all parties up for a more meaningful conversation.
2. "Are There Any Additional Individuals Who Need to Participate In The Discussion?"
Patel makes it a practice to pose this question at the onset of every negotiation, as assuming the individual present is the sole decision-maker may not always be the case. By specifically inquiring about other key stakeholders, Patel ensures that all relevant parties, along with their objections, concerns, and perspectives, are included in the discussion to ensure that any agreements reached in the meeting can progress smoothly. Without this step, you risk mistakenly assuming that a decision is final, only to discover later that other individuals are involved behind the scenes, potentially necessitating starting from scratch again.
3. "Who Else Disagrees?"
Patel ensures that this question is incorporated into any conversation, regardless of whether it may seem unpleasant. She advises against leaving it until the very end, when most participants may have mentally disengaged already.
During discussions of intelligence reports at the CIA, soliciting disagreements was standard practice as it strengthened the overall argument. Similarly, posing this question in commercial and corporate environments can enhance the final strategy by allowing everyone to share their perspectives.
One method to encourage disagreements more subtly or safely is to ask about weaknesses if you have to play devil's advocate. Never assume that silence indicates unanimous agreement. Instead, actively pursue disagreements, whether through one-on-one interactions, group settings, or any available means, to facilitate greater consensus and smoother execution of decisions.
4. "I Don't Know But I Will Get Back to You"
This sentence holds significant power and is often underutilized in stressful environments. During Patel's time at the CIA, individuals were instructed not to answer questions they did not have the answers to due to the high stakes involved. However, they did not simply respond with "I do not know." Patel continues to employ this phrase in all of her advisory and consulting endeavors as it embodies honesty and ensures that she shares only what she knows rather than providing an answer for the sake of having something to say.
Many individuals feel compelled to fill silence with improvised, ad-hoc responses, which only erode trust, damage relationships, and undermine organizational integrity. Expressing what one does not know profoundly shows humility and thoughtfulness.
According to Patel, employing this phrase throughout her career has garnered the trust of four-star generals, ambassadors, investors, board members, and other crucial stakeholders. While they may not have initially been aligned with her perspective at the beginning of the conversation, they found themselves on her side by the end because they knew that they could rely on her to be keen with conviction in what she brings to the table.
