If you're old enough you may remember the Japanese monster movies that proliferated television screens following the Saturday morning cartoon line up. Saturday afternoon television had little to entertain a bored kid on a subzero winter day in Chicago circa 1986. The choices were bowling, live poker tournaments or Godzilla.
The effects were cheesy and the flimsy story lines bizarre, but they were captivating. Though there was nothing scary about a plastic monster emerging from a fake ocean to smash miniature cities, these wonderfully hilarious and strangely disturbing little gems appear to be nothing more than harmless fun, until now.
Now, could it be they were actually cautionary tales?
On January 10, 2014 The Lightly Braised Turnip reported that a Giant squid of Godzilla proportions washed up on the California coastline on Friday in Santa Monica. Measuring a massive 160 feet from tentacle tip to head, this behemoth from the deep terrified onlookers and fascinated scientists.
This is the second time, in recent months, an enormous sea creature has washed ashore in California. The first, a 100-foot oarfish was thought, by scientists to be a one-time occurrence. Though the creatures are very different, they share one thing in common, a habitat contaminated by radioactive material following the 2011 disaster at the Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Power Plant in Japan. The accident affected an unknown number of oceanic creatures who have suffered severe genetic mutations, including what scientists are calling, "radioactive gigantism."
Local residents learned on Friday, to their horror, more of these mutant giants seem to be on their way to the continental U.S. Scientists. Bruce Kenner, a marine biologist at UC San Diego fears that the gigantism might disrupt the creatures' natural sense of direction. In an interview with the Lightly Braised Turnip Kenner said, "Take Jaws but make him the size of a Manhattan skyscraper. If that guy took a wrong turn onto the coastline he could level 40 city blocks thrashing before he comes to rest."
You know what this means, don't you? Sharknado could really happen. https://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi2090051865?ref_=tt_pv_vi_2
For those who don't yet know, this story is actually not true, unfortunately. The Lightly Braised Turnip is a site dedicated entirely to satire, but wasn't it fun to think, even for just a moment, that it was?
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