A difficult coworker is not just bothersome; it can even harm your career, reduce productivity, and lead to long-term health issues from constant stress.
The good news, as per psychiatrist Jody Foster, a psychiatry associate professor from the University of Pennsylvania and co-author of "The Schmuck in My Office, most difficult coworkers are not malicious and can be managed, suggesting that understanding their personalities helps in handling their behavior effectively.
Here are three common types of difficult coworkers and how to handle them, as advised by Foster:
1. The Narcissist
According to Foster, a narcissistic coworker exaggerates achievements and craves constant praise and vanity. They often blame others for mistakes, interrupt, take credit for others' work, and react aggressively to criticism.
When dealing with a narcissist, Foster advises trying to maintain a positive relationship without sacrificing your time or integrity. Offering occasional compliments can help minimize their angry outbursts, but it is crucial to stand up for yourself. If they take credit for your work, find ways to demonstrate your involvement, such as copying your boss or colleagues on important communications. If you feel unsafe or your contributions are overlooked, report the behavior to your manager or human resources.
2. The Bean Counter
Another common difficult coworker is what Foster calls the "bean counter." They are fixated on details and insist on doing things their way, often micromanaging.
Foster explains that these individuals focus on order, perfection, and control. They struggle with flexibility, openness, decision-making, and efficiency. A common example is rewriting a proposal multiple times because a coworker is not satisfied with the project.
Unfortunately, Foster explains, these individuals are often promoted inappropriately. CEOs sometimes seek detail-oriented people to assist with big ideas and company strategies, leading to overwork and unhappiness among employees.
When dealing with a coworker who argues over project details, Foster suggests giving them some control. While you should not completely give in to them, acknowledge their detail-oriented nature and appreciate their dedication. Avoid over-promising, as they become upset if you cannot deliver. Remember, it is not personal.
3. The Venus Flytrap
Foster describes this coworker as "hot and cold," with unpredictable relationships. Initially, they may boost your ego and appear friendly, but they can quickly turn manipulative or mean.
Foster explains that these individuals have intense and unstable relationships, starting with excessive praise but cycling between admiration and devaluation. They may overshare personal details, involve you in drama, or create uncomfortable situations like flirting. Likely bored with life, they seek to fill a void. To handle them, set and maintain clear boundaries, and enforce them.
Talking to your boss is important if any of these coworkers make you feel unsafe or hinder your work. Keep track of negative interactions and meeting dates in case you need to involve human resources later. Disruptive people can spread if we do not address them, Foster warns.
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