Negative self-talk, where your inner voice is overly critical, can undermine confidence. And, as Judy Ho, a neuropsychologist and Pepperdine University professor, noted, whatever consumes you does not always materialize.
In 2019, Penn State University researchers had 29 people with generalized anxiety disorder document their worries for 10 days and then monitored outcomes for the following month, and found that the majority of worries did not come true, with 91.4% of predictions failing to materialize.
In her recent TED Talk, Ho discusses how negative self-talk can undermine goals. She explained to CNBC Make It that sometimes people mistakenly believe negative self-talk motivates them, but in reality, it just often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
To overcome negative self-talk, it is essential to be aware of what triggers your pessimism and learn how to detach yourself from anxiety-driven thoughts.
1. Identify Your Triggers
Identify the situations that trigger rumination, such as work meetings or large social gatherings where you feel unfamiliar. Ho advises to notice these patterns and triggers to start recognizing a theme.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts
Once you identify the scenarios that evoke self-criticism, you can examine whether these thoughts are valid.
Ho asserts that there is no way all ten thousand thoughts you are thinking are true. When facing negative thoughts, individuals should evaluate evidence supporting and contradicting them. Ho clarifies that evidence includes observable facts, not just more thoughts. Ho highlights that evidence is not solely composed of additional thoughts. She emphasizes that evidence includes observable facts that others in the same situation could witness. Document your findings in two columns and compare them. Ho suggests that frequently, there is more evidence indicating that your anxiety will not materialize than evidence suggesting it will.
3. Practice A Balanced Thought Process
Ho proposes practicing a more balanced thought process using the following formula: "Yes, I [mention something that is not going well], but I [mention something that is going well]."
Perhaps you are concerned about the workload for tomorrow and feel unproductive today. Instead of dwelling on self-criticism of your work ethic in your head, tell yourself: "Yes, I didn't accomplish as much today as I hoped, but I did complete the top three tasks on my to-do list."
4. Label Your Feelings As Just Thoughts
Ho explains that when individuals think something, their brains tend to believe it is automatically true. Whether they are imagining a catastrophic future, recalling a distressing memory, or dwelling on a mistake, self-talk brings them back to those moments as if they are happening in the present.
To distance themselves from self-talk, individuals can label their thoughts as what they are: just thoughts. By acknowledging a thought that does not have to be true, individuals can distance themselves from the thought, preventing it from automatically becoming part of their reality.
Critically evaluating one's narratives can help break the cycle of negativity and redirect focus toward achieving goals.
