A central question has driven the debate for decades: Can women have it all?
The term "having it all" symbolizes women who excel in personal and professional realms, juggling being a great mother or partner while pursuing a thriving career. However, achieving this balance is becoming more challenging as women confront growing economic and personal challenges.
According to Bonnie Hammer, vice chairman at NBCUniversal, the belief that women can "have it all" is the "biggest lie" they are told, which can hinder their success. Hammer delves into the contradictory advice women receive about professional success in her new book, "15 Lies Women Are Told at Work," and contends that "having it all" is dangerous for women to pursue.
The Root Cause of Burnout
The pressure to accomplish everything on both personal and professional fronts can lead women to feel stressed, dissatisfied, and burned out. Even if they manage to succeed in all areas, women often have little time left for themselves. Gallup reports that women have consistently reported higher levels of burnout than men for years, a gap that has more than doubled since 2019.
Gender Disparity In The Workplace
The widening gap can also be attributed to gender inequities. Research indicates that women are less likely to receive promotions than men, yet they are more likely to lead single-parent families and shoulder unpaid labor responsibilities. These factors can contribute to exacerbating burnout among women, along with the rising childcare expenses, which are also causing women to exit the workforce.
Unattainable "Having It All" Goals
Hammer emphasizes that another challenge with the concept of "having it all" is that it often encompasses parenthood and professional achievement, which may not resonate with every woman. She adds that achieving "it all" is unattainable if the goals do not align with individual values or aspirations.
Hammer recommends that women define their version of "having it all" and recognize that this definition can evolve. She advises that "all" should be a list of what is necessary, desired, and ideal for living a fulfilling life, and prioritizing the items can be beneficial if the list is extensive. If two items on your list conflict, such as wanting more vacations and spending more time at the office, prioritize the one that is more important to you now and plan to address the second goal later.
Striving for excellence in every aspect of life is draining, and nobody has the time or energy to do so. Instead, focus on a few key goals, identify where you need support, and do not feel guilty about letting go of certain things.
You will always experience a sense of imbalance, and that is normal. While your version of "having it all" will evolve and differ from that of your friend or coworker, embracing this can boost your confidence and sense of control over your life.
